How is this poem? please criticize.?

-there is no formula for poetry,you are concentrating on structure,semantics,and rhyme.it is impossible to write a poem about something you have never personally experienced,you cannot write like owen,you were not in a shell hole praying for your life day after day,wet through with rotting feet,no fags and an inch below certain death. that's why the poem is empty,because you cannot FEEL those things-its not a criticism by the way but poetry comes from the heart,and rhythm is more important than rhyme-hope this helps